HOPELESS EXPECTATIONS

It was quiet long since the last time i posted any "crap" in here.. And now, Im starting again this new "crap" that would be added to my posts. Reading the late posts here in this blog makes me go back into those times i suppose not the same old "TINE" i am right now. But it was also ironic, how i came to realize that I've miss the way i am back then. Coz sometimes, it's just too tired being "the other Tine already". If only we could turn back times, there could have never been mistakes, if onlys, and regrets. If only i could have come up with the right words to describe the emotions i exactly feel right now. Fooling yourself was indeed the foolest game i've ever played. Just as I thought i'd get over those memories you left with HIS presence. But I dont know whenever I look into HIS eyes, i see the pain of our past that never dies. HE was great. HE's all that I got. Where were you when I was at the worst part in my life? You never tried or attemp to straighten things between us. You always left me hanging while I myself, also left HIM confused. You always hurt me, as well as I am hurting HIM too. I know, I've been unfair to HIS part but what can I do, if everything in me still belongs to YOU? So, is this the way we call it "LOVE?"... A never ending process of "FIGHTING yet not knowing what you're fighting for?" And what makes it so much painful to me is how you can envision your life without me! Where have gone all those promises you once said? I guess promises are really made to be broken. You made me believe that. BUT still here i am,waiting for those signs which sometimes leaves me with HOPELESS expectations.. And so, the best thing to do right now would be to miss you ... no more, no less. I just pray that somehow this heart of mine would learn to be contented - contented to be just missing you. .